Friday, April 24, 2009

Daytime Reality

Okay, I'm not talking about TV, just the routine of coming off vacation and getting back to real life at home. After getting caught up with laundry and housework, it was back to the same old me, husband gone for 12 hours a day to leave me alone with myself and my thoughts. This week so far has not been bad, we've had beautiful weather in Newnan and will even see the 80's this week. Everything is greening up nicely, the neighborhood birds are at the apex of their song season. I am looking forward to summer, even though I really hate being hot. It took me until Thursday to get back on the treadmill. I came home from Vegas with a nice festering (TMI) blister on my foot that took a few days to heal- instead of being practical (sneakers) I worried about being cute (heeled sandals) when we walked The Strip. My feet paid the price, and I couldn't even so much as put a sock on for most of this week. I admit I did not eat as healthy as I said I would while we were on vacation, and I guess that is typical me. I did make a few good choices, but the old burger-and-pizza-loving me crept in there too. And my husband is definitely a co-conspirator in that ("Let's split a large chili cheese fries!") but I am the one who ultimately caved. My weight loss has sort of stalled, and I even skipped my WW meeting this week because I couldn't face seeing the gain, and I know that is the chicken way of doing things. James and I talked this week and have rededicated ourselves to a whole food diet. No more Lean Cuisines, no more 100 calorie pack/mini-bites of anything, no more of the latest fat free whatever that comes in a bag or box. We're loading up the propane tanks for the gas grill and hitting the produce aisles (and nearby farm stand) to start our new "un"processed diet. For James it will be easy, he loves veggies and fruit anyhow. I am the one who will have to change my whole way of thinking. I am like a three-year-old staring down a forkful of Brussels sprouts, crossing my arms, shaking my head, and saying "uhn-uhn!", no way. I've been a carb addict for as long as I can remember, and the only good veggie to me is a fried mushroom or beer-battered onion ring. But, learning to eat fresh vegetables will show me how dedicated I really am to losing weight, because if I can't learn to enjoy grilled squash or a cucumber salad, I might as well declare a surrender now to the Fat Gods, and learn to live with being a 200+ pound woman for the rest of my life. I want to say I am committed, but I have a little devil on one shoulder waving around a bag of Twinkies bites. I guess I need to find an angel for the other shoulder with a big piece of zucchini to knock him off! (photo of what is currently in my pantry- no wonder I can't lose weight!)

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