Saturday, May 16, 2009

So Long Andy Jack!

I say that because I've been down at the 215 mark for the last week, which means I've lost 20 pounds since the first of the year (15 since joining WW). I think about what 20 pounds means for me. I think about my back problems, and how much pain I would be in if I had to lift up a 20-pound box and carry it. I think about how long I would last carrying 20 pounds of groceries up and down stairs. I think about our hikes, and how tired I would be if I wore a 20-pound backpack the entire time we walked. I think about how much we travel, and how I feel traipsing through the airport toting a 20-pound duffle bag. In all of those instances, I would have to admit defeat and ask my husband to help me, to carry those extra 20 pounds for me. It's easy to hand him my carry-on as we board the plane, or ask him to take a box down to the basement. But there was no way possible he could help me carry those 20 pounds on my body that I just lost!! And yet I was lugging it around with me every day, no matter what I did, no matter where I went. Although I don't necessarily see the difference yet when I look at myself in the mirror or in photos, I really do feel it.

Last year we were in Antigua, where we signed up to do a zip-line through the rain forest, and then an eco-challenge (why!!). While we weren't the oldest people in the group, we were certainly by far the heaviest. After the gentlemen working there got everyone into their harnesses and hardhats and gloves, there was a bit of a conversation going on between several of them. Finally a supervisor approached us, and told us that because of our size, we couldn't wear the normal harnesses. We were mortified and stone-faced as the rest of the group had to stand around waiting (and watching) while we stood there, getting outfitted in different gear. Needless to say, I was embarrassed. And in addition, the zip-line was probably one of the most painful, miserable experiences in my life and I hated every second of it and wished I could blink my eyes and have it done with. But of course, once you start it, you have to keep going, there's no exit door up there amongst the treetops.

That's just one example of why I just can't stay this weight any longer. We paid a lot of money to do that, and we gave up a leisurely day of eating lunch and shopping on the island (my style!), and I think we both had a horrible time. Because of our weight. And I don't want to have anymore wretched experiences like that, just because of my weight.

20 pounds is a drop in the bucket compared to the 95 that I want/need to lose. But I don't feel discouraged, only grateful that in the future when I come across a 95-pound item I need to handle, I will just call on my husband to do it. Because those 95 pounds WON'T be on me!! (photo of Antigua's trees)

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